Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Which side of the table?

Yesterday, I'm taking off my work clothe. Taking off the double layer of thermals, double socks and changing into a pair of guess jeans and a nice shirt ....just to go take a shower! And it dawned upon me. I feel like I'm a actor in a play or something. Changing my costume for the next scene. Why do we as people do these simple things just for the pleasure of others when they see us? odd

So, I finally bought a good vacuum cleaner off Craiglist. I used this email address to ask about the vacuum cleaner and well as fate has it, the man is Asian and his name is David. He of course became curious. I would be too if some guys email was homelessxxxxxx. I agreed to meet him at his Church. I was amazed at the large crowd of Asians going to the same Church. I had a nice chat with David and took all the little pamphlets and goodies people thrusted at me. That night, I actually read the church pamphlets. And as it turns out, this David, is in charge of the Church's monthly activity of feeding the homeless under a bridge in Seattle.

A guy who is in charge of feeding the homeless from a Asian church randomly puts an item for sale and is responded by a homeless Asian...........Sounds way too neat, but it is true. hmmmmm.

So immediate reaction, I'm going to go join this merry group of church people and help them feed the homeless.

Then a interesting situation came up before I went to sleep. I could actually be fit on either side of the table. I could feed or be a feedee. So which side of the table do I belong? Should I be serving or feeding? I guess I could be on both sides. But which side is the true me.

The answer was obvious. I belong on the side being fed. Its not that I want something for free. But the people serving the homeless are not there just to fill the stomachs of the homeless. The homeless will be hungry again in a few hours. They come to serve the food to practice compassion.
The spiritual act is bigger than than deed.....I would not be doing it for the same reason.

Besides, I'm homeless. I'm not homeless homeless, but noneoftheless, a stuggling human being.

And if you ask me, I feel more comfortable on the homeless people side. But the goal is someday be more comfortable will the "normal" people.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Good bye for now son

I've decided to cut off everything with the crazy woman who has my son. Thus, it also cuts me off with my son. No more phone calls. Nothing. It hurts allot. But nothing I'm not used to.

Your mother is adament on visiting Vietnam. I've been pushing her for years to visit Vietnam with you. You need to learn a native language. To see there is a land that people accept the way you look. Salt lake City....not the most diverse in the world.

Look at the crazy scenerio that is happening.....

Your mom is going to use up her savings for the visit.
She plans to for at least 6 months. What about coming back to make money?
When you two return, there is no job or money in her savings.

While you two are there, I'm suppose to give her money to live.
I am currently homeless.
I have less than $1000 in savings.
There is a looming flood in Kent at our warehouse that may put me unemployed.
What is I lose my job or get injured while you two are in Vietnam?

So I spoke to a couple of Vietnamese people. They told me a single woman and a boy traveling alone is very dangerous in Vietnam. Especially, your mom doesn't even know where you two will be staying.

Even with all these things stating its a bad idea, I still decided I can support it.. On one condition, Your mom have her brother call me and convince me you will be safe. Because your mom is not the brightest person in the world and her past history tells me here statements are usually false.

Well, she became more infuriated and refuse to have your uncle call me. That's all I want. Some way to be assured when you goto vietnam, you'll be living with relatives. Not in a apartment randomly rented. Its a communist country for God sakes. And I still haven't found another vietnamese person who tell me a single Americanized woman will be safe running around by herself.

Your mom gave me the ultimatum"You support me on this trip or you don't talk to your son no more"

"Fine, You cannot use are son as a pawn in our arguements. If that is case than so be it"

I called her back and told her "We are done. We are through"

I've tried and gave everything but enough is enough. I think the future will be brighter if there is a complete break. 100% no contact.

Son, I don't expect you to understand. Understanding or not, is trivial. You don't care and should have to care about all this. All you want is to have a normal life with a father, mother and people who can show you life and love. God, I hope you turn out better than me and you mother have.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The true reason I love a haircut

What a freaken disappointing day! Fuck, I think I"m actually a little peeved. I woke up this morning excited. Anticipating my haircut. Actually, I don't go for the haircut. I go to get a shampoo.

I always goto this vietnamese barber/school in Chinatown. The haircut is $6 and the shampoo is $2. The shampoo is usually such a treat! A nice vietnamese girl who speaks little English will shampoo. She massaged your head. Her body is inches from your face. You can't help but smell the scent from her body. And she usually massages your forehead. And conditioner is also massaged. The most wonderful feeling ever. All for 2 dollars! Well worth the price! And for me, its been over a year since I've had any human physical contact. I have to goto get a haircut once in a while to get my human contact on! lol

Well today, the barber is some woman I"ve never seen. She is all professional. The usual shampoo session that lasts 15 minutes only took her 5 minutes. There was no massaging. Shampoo, rinse, conditioner, rinse and show me the money. Sigh........