Record heat

Today, the temperature in Seattle reached 102 degrees. A record high. It has been hot all week. Everyday, the temp has been in the high 90's.

I went to the library to cool off and every laptop station was taken. People were everywhere trying to cool off. So I went to Safeway. Surprisingly, I'm the only laptop here. There is a bunch of people here hanging around, out of the heat. But I'm so surprised no laptops.

Love Hate of Asian people

I love being with Asian people. And yet why do I hate them so much?

I went to the Tea Palace in Renton to ask them about the bartending position. I went in and ordered some take out. The manager was outside having a cigarette. When he came in, I asked him if they still need a bartender.

owner "You a bartender?"
me "I went to bartending school"
owner "We don't need a bartender"

When I asked him the question, he took a look at me.....and I already new....no way he is hiring me. It didn't matter if I had 10 years of bartending experience.

Asian owners want white people to bartend.

What the fuck! Us ASians are being discriminated against by our own people!!

losing my memory

There are always something interesting that comes up in my mind everyday that I think I should write. But once I get on the laptop...I can't remember it. I'm losing my memory. Mind

I'm sitting in the library and my stomach is growling. I'm going to go take a shower. Then I'll go up to the Tea house and talk to them about a bartending job. Very unlikely I'll be considered for the position. The advertised needing a experienced bartender.

I'm not a experienced bartender.
I"m a Asian male.
And I have major felony convictions.

Finding a job is almost impossible.

End of July Updates

Been a crazy July.

Played good poker at Muckleshoot. Was up like $2000. Quickly lost it all playing baccarrat. Story of my life. Win it in poker. Lose it somewhere else.

Had a Korean microsoft employee interested in me. But she was not my type. Finally got her t stop calling me and asking me to go out all the time.

For 2 weeks. Went to bartending school. Just got my liquor license today. But the out look to land a job is very slim. The casinos won't hire me cause of my felony record. And I'm Asian.

Been pretty lonely lately. Spending allot of money driving here and there.

I will try to start writing more.

Give Life a Chance

Things have been so dark in my life. Trying to make it in Poker and all it gets me is chronic brokeness. No friends. No family. My son living 800 miles away. Smoking like a train. I can feel my body slowly dying.

Something came over me today. To give life a chance. Maybe because I finally figured out what I've been doing wrong in Poker. I've come to the realization, I basically commit suicide at the poker table because of my personal life.

I have to give life a chance. The will to want to live. And it will reflect positively in other aspects of my being.

The Impossible Climb of my Son

I want to list the how tough it is for my Son in his future. Emotionally, Spiritually. But what could conquer all that faces him is Love. And there is the delimma. I"m 800 miles away. How do I infuse Love into his life to offset all he is to face? God help him.


Can only Speak English-
He is Asian. But can only speak English. I nagged his mother constantly to speak only Vietnamese to him. She does not take it serously.

He is born to a very poor family

He has hardly any playmate. To get anywhere in life, is to have friends.

He does not witness any love. His mother yells and argues with his grandma. His father and mother do not love each other. He has no idea what love is.

When older, he is Asian. Looked upon as uncool. Smaller in statue than other students. Does not have the home training to be more knowledgeable than other kids. Where does he belong?

No faith. He does not goto Church. Where will his spiritual heart go?

Oh, I fear for my Son everyday. It be a miracle if he is a Happy teenager. Impossible. The anger of his situation will surface.

Why do other kids have it so much better than him. He'll want to belong somewhere with somebody. But who? He can't speak Chinese or Vietnamese. He lives in a Hispanic area and they do not accept him.

One day a Hispanic girl tried to play with him. Her mother rushed over and took her away. Scolding her. She is not to play with him. Even the Hispanics look down upon that house.

God help him.

Asian women running to White guys..figured out

Ok, while getting dizzy watching the dryer go round and round, I a few things came clear to me.

What was not clear was a white guy putting his clothe in the dryer. He takes his clothe, shakes them out. Then lay them nice and neatly in to the dryer. Laying each on gently and gingerly on top of one of another. Well.....you get the point. Actually, I don't get the point of it all and I'm not about to ask him.

Most people frequently the laundry mat are Hispanics. As I watch the ladies deligently wash multi loads of clothe, the question emerged...why are Hispanic women not flocking to White men like Asian women?

The latest census report show--Asian Women Marrying White Men were the largest multi racial mix to gain in the last 10 years. BY A HUGE PERCENTAGE. Any other mixed marriage were not even close.

Why is it only Asian women?
Why are the Hispanics, Native Americans, Arabians women not look at their race of men like trash like Asian women do?

The answer is culture.

The Asian culture is a sad culture. There is no happiness.

Everyone culture has celebrations. Music. Parties to cement relationships of family to family. Sports.

I sat in the laundry mat watching Mexican channel. The Hispanic women can see Hispanic men, prominent in Soccer. Highest paid Soccer athlete making 20 million a year is Hispanic. The Music of Latinos. The dancing. They have something to be proud of in their culture and their men.

What the hell do us Chinese have? Shit, I can't think of one Asian man I'm proud of.

I don't blame the Asian women running off to seek happier pastures.