Beggar outside safeway

Homeless beggar is siting outside Ghetto Safeway. On my way out, of course he says "Any change sir?" Being Asian, i'm a prime target for beggars.
I ignore him and kept walking
I look back
A man dressed worse than the homeless man is walking by with a bag of groceries. He is dressed worse than  the homelessman. Hair straggly.
"Got any change sir"
The man reached into his pocket. From 6 feet away, threw 6 coins at the homeless man.
Homeless man didn't even bother to try to cash any of them. none of the coins looked like its more than a nickel.
The man struts away.
hahahahaha

One of those days....sigh

Took a shower at the YMCA in downtown Tacoma.
Drove to the library on 56th street. It is pouring rain.
I still have my shower sandals on. Oh why not, its still raining. No one cares of about shower sandals.

I walk into the library. My sandals are squeeking......squeek squeek squeek.
I get into the door....squeek squeek squeek....the library and a customer look at me.

Then at the exact moment - My left sandal broke!
Yes, the sandal went flying.

So I retrieved my sandal. walked with one sandal and one barefoot to the exit door. Wait a minute, this looks stupid. Walking with one sandal and carrying the other. So I take the other sandal off. So now, I'm walking barefoot.
I got outside. There is a trash barrel. I look at my Sandal. Strap is completely broken. Unsalvageable.

I walk barefoot through water in the rain to the trash barrel. I throw the sandals into the trash can. The lid of the trash can fell off and went rolling 6 feet!

What in the world in going on!!! I go and chase the lid of the trash barrel barefoot and put it back on the trash can.

Walk barefoot to my van to put on a pair of sneakers in the rain while a family of 5 happen to just be coming out also with me.

hahahahhaha, its just one of those days.

The Intersection

The days, the moments leading up to an event that changes the course of a person life.

What if you see a busy intersection ahead.  Cars crossing by at break neck speed. You have no idea if the the light is Red of Green. You are forced to blindly walk across that interception. You may end up safe on the other side. You may be hit by a car with a certainty of death.

It is that walk up to the intersection.
It is that walk up to to fate.
Imagine if that walk up to that intersection is a 2 week walk.

It is that 2 week walk I am on.
I am walking and in 2 weeks I will meet this intersection.

Get killed walking blindly accross a road or make it safely to the otherside. We shall see.

I am on that walk.

I"m blessed

All I wanted to write is I am a blessed person. With all the mistakes I make. With all the things I do to self destruct, God won't let me fall so completely that there is no return.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a person always jumping off the bridge and its like my legs are strapped to a bungee cord.

But why? Why me?

I once tried to be an alcoholic. Failed miserably.
I should be mentally insane at this moment. Nope he won't let me have that.
I tried to my best ability to totally hate humanity. Yea, he not letting me have that either.

With me, this God of mine has the craziest sense of humor.

update (9-11-2015)
uuuuugh! how a few days change spiritually, psychologically. It is now back to Loss of Hope. What was suppose to be a job has turned to nothing. All due to the same old issue. Hiding in a cave looks appealing. The threat of financial death looms again.

Debriefing

In the past month, there has been this religious group of college age boys and girls volunteering around the Guadalupe House. They stay in one of the houses with a Jesuit Priest - Fred. They ended their activities last week and they told me they began "debriefing". Debriefing? What in the world is that? I was told they gather with other groups, talk and prepare to re-introduce themselves back to the world. Detach - And they do for a week!
A week? Really?
 I was perplexed. When I saw them, I would ask how the "debriefing" was going. Curious and basically perplexed.  Sheesh...you need a week for that?

This morning, this group arranged going away a breakfast at the Guadalupe House and invited me to join. They left today and it was their way saying goodbye and thank you. They sang a song, gave speeches on how wonderful who this and that is and gave out hugs.

They left
And then I understood. I then knew.... what this debriefing was.



These were no ordinary college kids. They paid their own way. They came from all over the country. Broke off into groups of half dozen or so and went off to do "good deeds" around the Tacoma area. This group ended up at the Guadalupe House.
I first encountered this young group of kids at the Tuesday evening meal the Guadalupe house cooks for the homeless. I saw them and didn't say a word. Most likely, just another group of young people I see. They, do a little this and that and basically sight seeing and taking tour. But nope.

I saw them again the next Tuesday at the homeless meal.
And the next.
Encountered them on a non-Tuesday when somehow I manage to get into the Guadalupe House for a evening meal.
Ok, these kids don't seem to be running off. Very odd. Very weird.

In the sweltering sun, on one of the hottest weeks of the year, these young kids shoveled dirt and built 30x25 feet brick patio. For 4 days, they sweated without complaint. Disappointed when they were not able to accomplish the project due to lack of time.

They were so friendly. Eager say hello and speak to us (the homeless). And I got to sneak a few more extra times into the Guadalupe House for their evening meals.
  Their Chinese/Vietnamese leader - trying to be a good person of the world
  A freckled Alaskan girl - Beautiful being - in and out
  The 2 boys/Men - The warm greetings and relentless attitude to finish a grueling physical task.
  A one legged Asian girl - The singing and hello's. (The thing about people that enthusistically say hello and ask you to come over...it makes people feel like their presence is needed. Its a good feeling. The basic weak hello's don't do the trick)
  A blonde nursing student - The quiet one of the bunch. But just as powerful with her subtle approach to "Good Deeding"
 

So when they left this morning.........it hit me hard. It is back to the Van. It is back to the samo grind each day. Avoiding people. Sometimes acting angry to keep the crazies off. - A realization you don't know when the next time you can have a genuine connection with someone. Someone who accepts you are homeless and its ok.

       So I wonder if their "debriefing" is the reverse of mine.

       For a couple weeks, I had friends. Last week I went to a meetup with a bunch of web coders. http://www.meetup.com/seaphp/events/223918305/   And again the same insulting treatment. A life time on the street has heightened my sense of perception. The way they talk, the way they look at you. I look homeless and they gave the best effort not to show  they knew I was homeless but I saw it in their eyes. 2 people there were involved with companies in the Tacoma area specializing in web development. Their whole business is helping build website with PHP. Both showed no interest in; knowing about my project, looking at it and of course helping. I politely sat there quiet for 45 minutes and excused myself and left.
    Anger, sadness, a sense you are sub-human - all rolled into one.
 But this time it was different, for this time, I had a friend(s). I walked straight to the College kids house behind the Guadalupe House. Caught their leader and a couple of them outside. Got it all off my chest and felt good.

                  Its amazing how a friendly face makes the world better.

But that is not reality. That is Not my reality.

My reality is a cellphone that never rings.
My reality is spending all day stealing electricity for my phone
                   - Lining up at the mission or Church for food
                    -There is no one to trust but myself.
                   - Surrounded by criminals and drug addicts, I swim their world with an angry appearance.
My reality is no real friends and loneliness.

With these college kids...I now understand "debriefing". It was nice having a friend. But now, it is to detach. I suppose the feeling is similar to watching a family member fly away after they visit you.

One of the homeless, A black man, had gotten to know the tall blonde college girl. I saw him walking by Mcdonalds yesterday. It is back to straying the streets. He at this moment is wandering. Walking. Around. Alleys, sidewalks.


    NOw, there are tons of people that talk to the homeless. There are groups of high school kids that come through. I meet church groups that feed me almost on a daily basis......So what makes this group different?
       The difference is they have decided to engage us with Love......not Pity.

There is a difference. A big one.
           A really big one. For I can get plenty of pity. It is plentiful. And I don't want it.

So......I don't know what the kids debriefing is. I suppose it is the opposite. It is the realization the world is not filled with crazy homeless, drug addicts and the mentally ill. The real world is actually a good place. A world where caring for family, and working is the norm of importance. And that should be the real world. I would like that world.

I don't know what they did for "Debriefing" but now I understand why.




BTW - I purposely did not want to proof read. What grammatical mistakes is there, so be it.
BTW #2. They left this morning. I just now walke into the library. There is a function for whatever crazy reason...they held it next to the bathroom. hahahaha

On the other side of the bathroom is some snacks.

But it is now reality. If I were to go up there and grab a snack, there would be 2 possible reactions.
Oh its some homeless guy. Lets just grumpily silently let him take a little.
or its...Hey, sorry these are only for guests. Please go away. (at a public event in a library)

With the college kids, I could take food from them without feeling of shame or a feeling of burden. Like you do to friends.
But it reality. And reality is -  I am different and should be treated as such.

Money can buy a Soul

If a store sold "Friends" we would all gladly pay for one. 

The worst and biggest lie is - Money can't buy happiness

Oh yes it can.

If I had money, I would not be lonely. People will allow them into your circle. I would not freeze at night. I would have prestige in some circles. It buys happiness.


A long close friend of mine is rich.  He flies from country to country. His wealth is not important. The bottom line - he is not poor. In desperation, I told him I am living in a van. I told him, my bank account was in the negative. But what I would like, is money for my for my website. He then began the 1 hour conversation. mostly on my website idea. He did not offer to give me money. I did not ask directly. But living in a Van...no money left in bank account? He left me with the word "Call me and ask me for money if you need it and I will see what I can do"
Days passed, he never called me to ask how I am.
Days passed, I never called him.


Weeks later, I met the Taiwanese Church representative. After meeting him, I went to beg money from another friend. She is a student in her early 20's. We have only known each other when we used to volunteer together at a Medical Center. I bluntly told her, I need to borrow money. She immediately said "Yea, no problem". There was no questions of why or how come. She makes minimum wage. After she pays her bills, at the end of the month she will give me what she has left.


Friends are hard to come buy in life. If the Walmart sold "Best Friends" for life....how much are you willing to pay? How much is a "Friend" worth? hundreds? Thousands? Millions?

The bottom line is....if you can buy a friend...you would pay for one. They are precious.

A church could have bought my soul. (Les Miserables)


By loaning me money, my minimum wage friend has now bought my friendship for life. 

Money can buy happiness, friendships and souls.

What I learned in 2014 - Broken man

I continue to see evidence the Church is not for me. And yet, again and again, God makes his presence known to me.

Ok, a delusional statement is about to come - My life has been following the path of 2 movies.


Have I not suffered enough? Have I not suffered the most painful sentence handed to a man - loneliness? When does it end?

.....No, in 2014 I realized God's wisdom. No, I have not suffered enough. For I all my life, I had never begged. No matter what dire environment I have been in, I never begged. I had pride. It was not until this year.
I had to beg. Begging, it breaks a man down. For with begging, is fear. I have faced the most evil men on earth, the most physical environments.  I have no fear. It was not until now, I knew fear. Pride gone. I had to beg.

Once you beg, you are faced to face with death. You are nothing. Your very existence is now in the hands of others. Do they wish to save you? You are humbled.


I am on the path of the movies Good Will Hunting and Les Miserables. Good Will Hunting is already played out in my life.
Now I'm on the path of Les Miserables. In order for his soul to be saved, Valjean had to be broken to his knees. I know see the ways of my failures. I failed myself. And God keeps on trying to save me.

What I learned in 2014 - Being Taiwanese is nothing special

Homeless or not, I have been a proud Taiwanese man. There was no one prouder. Now, I wish I can take down the word "Taiwanese" in the title of my blog.


- The people who kicked a 12 year old Asian boy out into the street in America....Taiwanese

- I am now 46, were there any incidents in my life where Taiwanese was beneficial? No

- I sent hundreds and hundreds of messages to people that were Taiwanese on facebook. Allot of them had my same last name. Made them aware there is a homeless Taiwanese out there. How many messaged back with any kind of message?.... Zero

- I hand delivered a letter to a Taiwanese Doctor. Dr. Laurence Tsai at St. Josephs Hospital. I park literally a block from his office. Told him to even talk to the Catholic workers and interview me or them. Did he respond? In this freezing weather did he even come take a look? NO

- I wrote to the Formosan church in Seattle. Finally my veil is unmasked. They sent a very nice and supportive man to interview. But allow the congregation know there is a homeless Taiwanese man? They are not going to do it. I guess if you are not financially well off, you don't get to belong to the Taiwanese social circle.
 

All, these years. Thinking being Taiwanese was special. Of all the Asian countries, I am grateful I was born Taiwanese. But the life long thinking it was something special? - A delusion.
- 

I will miss Tacoma

I have a Temp job in Seattle to goto. I will miss Tacoma.


I will miss walking in the dark alleys.



Last night, I stood behind my van having a cigarette. A police car slowed, turned pulled behind and a policewoman steps out.

            "Where do you live"
me - Around

             "Are you homeless?"
me- Sort of
               " Got report of suspicious person around the Nativity House"
me -   The Nativity House is way down there on 25th
              "No the Nativity House is right here on the 14th"
me -   I eat at there all the time, its down on 25th
              "No its not. Its on the 14th. You have any ID on you?
me - No I do not (My wallet was in the van)
    She calls for backup. Now 3 police cars surround my van.
              "What is your name?
I gave her my name. She goes into her car to check my name and Van tags.

Meanwhile the other 2 police continue to question me. I told them "I'm not the suspicious man she is looking for."
My name and van tabs check out ok. They all leave.




I will miss shaking my head at the guy with slick back hair. Carrys a suitcase. Has a earpiece, wears a nice suit and tries to act like he is a stockbroker.


I will miss handing an extra pair of gloves to a total stranger yesterday. Its freezing and a woman walking around with no gloves. A newbie


3 night ago, again having a cig outside my van at 2 am. Out of no where a wall brown haired woman came out of no where. I mean just showed up like out of the shadows. She mumbling. Do you live in the van. Mumbling more stuff. She walks off. 1 minutes later comes back. asks for a Cig. I give her a one. She keeps mumbling but I never said a word. When approached by schizophrenics, give the stare and don't talk back. I did hear the words "Just whoring". She leaves.
I guess I will miss Mentally ill whores.


I will miss verbally bitch slapping 2 guys who tried to take my bag of potato chips.

The Interview

They sent a man. A nice man. A man with good intentions.
I need shelter. Shelter while I take on a temporary job. I need someone to take me in temporarily.

I told him every detail of my life. Good and bad. And definitive evidence I'm no ordinary homeless man and evidence I am honest.

I apologized to him. For at that very moment, it was unfair to him. I was seeking shelter.
 Just because I am homeless, does not make it justified to expect help from a Church. It is also unwise to take a total stranger into a home. I would not recommend.
    He is in a peculiar situation. The church by its creed does not want to turn its back upon a needy. Yet it must protect its congregation from harm.
     I am Taiwanese and I presented it myself. Basically, he is pushed into a corner. It is a dilemma. He can't ignore me. Yet, a homeless man's plight is not what the modern church does. They want to just consult people with depression, marital issues and give a sermon or 2. An issue not welcomed. So I apologized for they are pushed into a corner.

      He said, my matter and situation would not be brought to the attention of the members of the church. It would only be talked about in a small circle of the heirachy. 



Funny, a homeless man and a church representative. And yet, sitting there, it was I who was pitying him. Maybe he pitied me. Why? I'm not sure.

I pitied him for it was unfair of a church to send him, knowing full well nothing will be done.
I pitied him .For....think about it....A few days before Christmas, and you knew someone needs help and yet you can't help. As a religious person, how does your mind wrestle with it.

Even now, after days of trying to understand it, I can't find the answer....Why would a church be afraid to tell their congregation there is a homeless Taiwanese person out there? Are we all not God's creatures? Treat all men like brothers? Usually, I"m very good at looking at things in all angles and understand all points of views. This one....has lost me.

He tried to offer me some money. I refused. I need shelter.

I walked out with a clear conscious. I'm not sure about him. It was so unfair to him.

Christmas card from my Son

I told my 11 year old son weeks ago there would be no Christmas gifts this year for him. He told me he understands and he is ok with it. He knew I have been living in my van. He knew I went 2 weeks with $10 in my pocket and cannot afford gifts.

Yesterday, I got a Christmas card from him. Inside the card, was a $100 bill. I broke out in tears.


A 11 year old sending his father money.

I have to pack up and leave the library now. I am breaking out in tears writing about it.

Tired

I write so I don't forget.

                                                          Sick
I have developed a cold. Runny stuffy nose. Cough. And it has been cold at night - 20 to 30 degrees at night. The cold is not like reading about it. Its like having a mission to the North Pole. My shoulder muscles are always sore from being tense. There is a constant headache. Words cannot describe what trying to sleep in the cold is like. Peter and Katlin from the Guadalupe house decided to try it one night. They now understand.

                                                         The Biker
The past Sunday 12-30-2014, I ate breakfast at the Nativity House. I'm so anti-social, I didn't want to sit there with hundreds of the homeless and wait for lunch at 2 pm. I went to the Casino to drink coffee and watch Sunday football. I cannot get free food at the casino no more, they have caught me hanging around to much. But I went to get out of the cold even though I didn't have any money.

So I"m sitting there, pretty hungry and a man asks to sit at my tiny table and watch the tv. Sure.
He had tattoos even on his hands and knuckles. I asked him if they were prison tattoos. We talked about how the Emerald Queen is the best casino because it is just filled with riff-raff. The drug dealing, prostitution and the general clientele are the not desirable.
As I was getting up, he asked me to eat with so him. So he doesn't have to eat alone.
We went to the restaurant and he orders steak and lobster for both of us. He was constantly using profanity while talking. He was angry. He didn't understand what this life is all about
He has done time in prison
He used to be a the most violent man imaginable. He was a 1% in the G. Jokers biker gang. He got out of the gang and trying to do right in life.
We both agreed, 5-10 years ago, there is no way he could be seen talking and eating with me.
How amazing, some of the people I meet. And good Lord, I was hungry and he came along and gave me a meal.

                                                Nativity House

If you hang out in the homeless shelters, it is the women that will yell and cause commotions then the men. I know the reason, but not going to get into it. Saw 2 women with babies. Some how one started yelling at the one about stop showing the baby or something. I guess she was upset feeling the other lady was trying to get attention by showing of the baby. It don't matter what economic level....people will find odd things to argue about.

                                                  Walking to the library

I am sick. Tired. Headache. stuffy nose. Walking to the library at dusk. I pass a subsidized housing building. I can see through a window. 2-3 people on couch watching tv. Warm. They knew how to lie applications and get free housing. They know how it is like to be poor. They would never invite someone into their house to warm up.
I cross the street. The shiny cars are everywhere.
I'm tired. I have been randomingly asking people to look at my kickstarter. My website. I tell them I'm homeless.
I"ve emailed at least 100 people.
I"ve walked to St. Joseph Hospital and handed a note to a Doctor with my same last name
I've mailed letters to different organizations.
Nothing.
No emails of reply.
I've seen 40 people view my video of asking for help.
Nothing. No messages. No acknowledgement.

 I wonder if I really want to be successful with my website. For I realize, I am now an angry man.
If I am successful, how can you blame me if I don't help the people of the world. Where are they when I"m in my most dire state of mind.
Of course they have been wonderful, beautiful people.  I have been kept alive by my sister.

But right now, I just don't know what I would do if I was rich. I have always been a caring person. So , for me, I don't want to forget this moment.
I would always help the people that help and care for the needy. The Catholic Workers of the world.
But the general public, right now there is too much anger.

[The whole movie hit too close to home

Tiles

Funny, this homeless life. It is a solitary life. And there is no where to run. So you stay to yourself and try to avoid commotion. Yet, there is never a dull moment. There has been so many small events.


But that was not what I wanted to write about. I need to update on the progress of the website. There is so much to tell. This evening I"m going to a meeting of local nerds. See if I can find one that will help. And when I RSVP to go, I wrote I"m homeless. This should be interesting. But now to why I wanted to write today.


The soup kitchen at St. Leo Church. The line stretches against the wall around the eating area. Around shoulder height, on these walls are tiles. Thousands of tiles. All different color. Mostly painted by children. Paintings of flowers, oceans, and the countless amazing imaginations of children. I can see it now...Children, paint in these tiles. It will raise the spirit of the homeless that come in here.
They are all very colorful tiles with paintings and you can almost see yourself as child, in school, painting.
Most of these tiles are done by children. As I walked the line to get my food, 2 of these tiles stood out to me. Maybe because both of them were not paintings. They were words. Or maybe because what the words said.

First tile. Done by a child's brush.

"Don't look down on someone unless you going to help them up"


Second tile. In neat letters done by an adult.

"Happy Birthday Amanda. Miss you. Love Mom"

The Oasis

Tacoma, Washington. It has been given the nickname the Compton of the NW. The residents are primarily black men and white women. Walk the streets of Tacoma Ave - Office buildings and store fronts stand empty. There is also the "Odor of Tacoma". An incredible powerful smell of sewage that spreads for miles. Its impossible to describe unless you have been here. Recently a Drug Lord was arrested in Tacoma with 2 under aged girls he had been pimping out. Police says he made over $700k in past 2 years. On his facebook/twitter page, he had posted a picture of himself with hair rolls done with $100 dollar bills. His caption "I am the King of Tacoma". And he is right. Tacoma is the drug capital of the NW. And the black gangs are the king. And yet in the middle of the rundown buildings, needle pumpers and low income housing filled with single mothers and bi-racial kids...an oasis.


A few months ago, I lost the room I was renting. With no place to go and no job, I was lost. So on my way south, I stopped in Tacoma and have not left. I park at 14th and G street. This is homeless heaven. It doesn't get any better than this. I been homeless all over the country and this is Ritz Carlton. On the south side of G street is the Church ST. Leo, where I eat breakfast and lunch. On the North side of the street is the Guadalupe House where I take a shower m-f at 11 am. 2 blocks away is the public library to get your daily dose of stench from other homeless people and charge the cellphone. Across from St. Leo is the Small Business Administration, where I sought out a mentor for my website. 3 blocks down is the YMCA - Free showers, free towels and a sauna. And where I'm parked is a Garden with an amazing view, and this is whats happening in the Garden every Thursday.

Last month, this tiny half street oasis held a block party. In the middle of the most dangerous city of the NW, moments of community. A family of 5. Native women with a white man and 3 daughters happened to walk by. I ended up playing  badminton with them in the middle of the street till the sun went below the horizon. I apologized to them, it was getting dark and they have to take the equipment back to the church. The 6 year old responded "Thank you. That was fun. That is the most fun we had all summer." ......That was the most fun we had all summer. ....Those words still embed in my mind

yesterday, I stood to wait for a shower. This is my view. Tranquility.

But wait, there is more to this oasis! Yes there is more and even more incredulous! Downtown Tacoma is right next to the Puyallup Indian tribe. So what does a Indian tribe do if its right in the middle of a city? It build a casino. Yes, in the middle of Tacoma is a casino. Well Tacoma smells and income is not high. So what do they do to attract people? They have a promotion. The promotion is, if you hang around the casino for 2 hours, we will give you $25 worth of free food. Yes, hang around for 2 hours and you can get any food, any way you want for  $25 and you can even take it to-go if you choose. And we even have a buffet. Yes to make it more convenient, we will price the buffet at exactly $24.95. If a normal buffet not going to get you to show up, we will make the buffet all-you can -eat Lobster on Sunday and Wednesday! Yes All you can eat Lobster! hahahaha.
How ironic. You are homeless but you get to eat lobster! hahahaha. I see a bee line of the homeless people walking casino. They figured no one can sit around for 2 hours and do nothing. These people sit around and do nothing just for a shower! 2 hours is nothing.

Does it getting any better for the homeless?




One homeless guy and 3 catholic workers attempting badminton. LOL

Tacoma

I really didn't want to start blogging. But discovered there is a blogger app and well, I do have a one downtime doing nothing. Mind as well be here writing about nonsense.

I've been living in my van for a couple months in Tacoma. If you going to be homeless, choose Tacoma. More on how fantastic Tacoma for the homeless is later. Oh and if you are a drug addict, it appears the whole downtown industry is drugs trade. Tons of black folks with no jobs and yet somehow have money and women in and out. Not saying blacks are drug dealers, but I see what I see.

I decided to jump on and write because, I'm waiting to take a shower At the Guadalupe house. Typical wait is an hour. All the street people waiting, well guess when people stand around wait...? They open there mouths. 

One older gentlemen seems pretty normal. Yet everyday, eventually the conversation always gets to how he is will be getting a big 179k check from the VA. How his ex took hi business.. etc etc. Everyday the same topic. 

You got the 50-60 year old Philippine lady coming around. Sitting on the porch with the homeless. Tries to talk to one black man after another. Over heard her talking to one homeless black man she wanted him to come back to the apartment.
Yes, loneliness is a bitch. Old Philippina trying to pickup homeless black men.

Well, she's not as bad as the guy in fishing hat. Has a different woman he walks around. He was walking around with Carrie. They attend church sermon service. Then they stopped walking together and Carrie told me he was touchy feelie and just want to her to do things. She's not into that.
Well he eats at the soup kitchen almost everyday. He carry's  around Like 3 bags. Always walking with some different woman he meets. And yes he lives in an apartment. But man, if you going to do that, please don't attend church. Go pickup normal women in a normal church. 

Just because we poor don't mean we want to sleep with you because you got an apartment.

Loneliness, more powerful than love.

How to Spot a fake homelss person

Me getting a second helping of rice.

This has been bugging me for a while. There is these 2 Asian guys that eat at the Millionaire's Club that serve breakfast and lunch to the homeless. The food is pretty good - that's why they come. But they are not homeless and I know they have never have in their past. If you ever been homeless, its so easy to spot a fraud. Its like us Asians that can tell a Korean from a Chinese or Vietnamese...etc. Well, for all you not in the know...the first most glaring tell.....They don't carry any BACKPACKS. 85% of the bagless = fraud.

Uggghh!! Them 2 Asian guys bug me so much whenever I see them. They show up when there is good food and skip the days when they serve nasty burgers. I purposely stare at one of them. Of course he never looks up.

On that note...I am dangerously close to be a fraud. I mean, I now have 2 vehicles and a job. My landlord asked me about this. My answer to her??

All these organizations helping people...I am exactly the kind of person they want to help. It is I who they want using their service.
.
Are these organizations doing what they do in hopes you stay homeless?

They want to see someone rise up from the ashes. These services main goal is to hope someone decides to end the "doing nothing with my life". There main goal is to help someone who wants to get up and be a contributor.

This breaded fish was good. (Millionaire's Club)

I am the one they are formed for. But man...if this job thing keeps going for more than 6 months from now...I am going to fall into that "Cheapskate" category. Blah..I'll say I"m just too lazy to cook and label me strange. 

Real People

These are real people http://www.meetup.com/volunteerism-155

They feed the homeless every week and there is always a waiting list of people waiting to help out. That's how full they get. To me, they are the real people.

They go and help people for nothing in return. Nothing. Except to be human. They are not a religious group that perform certain deeds for a chance at heaven. Nor are they a corporation doing for publicity or a tax right off.

Humans are such interesting animals. What makes certain ones not give a shit of another human. While standing next to another human that wants to love him.

Cats are safer than me

For 2 months now, A lady in the Central District of Seattle is allowing me to park in her driveway for a fee. I gave her $170 last month. Bless her heart she is doing something millions of house owners would never ever consider. The neighbors know someone is living out that van. The opinion they have for her and me can't possibly be favorable. The risk she took to allow a total stranger - mind you a "homeless" person - to have a key to her house. I wish more people would be more like her.

Where I park is in the back of the driveway along the side of the house. I am close to the back and only 10 feet from the backdoor sliding door. And yet for 2 months she left the sliding door locked. I am forced to walk down a 60 feet driveway to the street. I am basically paraded to the street where the houses accross the street can see a guy getting out of his van and then walk up to the house with towel. Come out of the house obviously have taken a shower. It could all be hidden if I just walk 10 feet to the back sliding door. Oh well. It is what it is. I am lucky for what I have. I am not complaining. No sir.

Well then she gets a cat. Then the landlord gets another cat. And guess what...for the sake and happiness of the cats, she leaves a 6 inch opening for the cats to get in and out of the house. So now we have a constant open sliding door in the back. And no there is no "stick" at the end of the door as security bar. It is wide freaken open.

So basically, for cats.... an unlocked door. For a man...oh its getting locked. And being the stubborn man that I am, I keep parading to the front of the house for the whole world to see rather than use the unlocked backdoor. For she has unlocked it for the cats. Not for me.


Though its a bit of just observation, Please, I am still amazed at the trust this lady has. She is still admired by me for her trust in human beings. But cats still are higher on the list. lol

Latest on my life

First time in my life I made more than $13 an hour. But guess what, I'm now living in the van. But now, I am able to find someone in the Central District of Seattle that is letting me stay in her driveway for a fee. I run an electrical cord and I have shower privileges. Life is pretty good right now. POWER! It so awesome to have electricity. Recently, I had to house sit for an ex classmate with her dog. It was hell. For a week I was depressed and had anxiety. I love the van. (Well I love the van now there is power.) But the van is having engine issues. Need to find me a commuter car.