I write so I don't forget.
I have developed a cold. Runny stuffy nose. Cough. And it has been cold at night - 20 to 30 degrees at night. The cold is not like reading about it. Its like having a mission to the North Pole. My shoulder muscles are always sore from being tense. There is a constant headache. Words cannot describe what trying to sleep in the cold is like. Peter and Katlin from the Guadalupe house decided to try it one night. They now understand.
The past Sunday 12-30-2014, I ate breakfast at the Nativity House. I'm so anti-social, I didn't want to sit there with hundreds of the homeless and wait for lunch at 2 pm. I went to the Casino to drink coffee and watch Sunday football. I cannot get free food at the casino no more, they have caught me hanging around to much. But I went to get out of the cold even though I didn't have any money.
So I"m sitting there, pretty hungry and a man asks to sit at my tiny table and watch the tv. Sure.
He had tattoos even on his hands and knuckles. I asked him if they were prison tattoos. We talked about how the Emerald Queen is the best casino because it is just filled with riff-raff. The drug dealing, prostitution and the general clientele are the not desirable.
As I was getting up, he asked me to eat with so him. So he doesn't have to eat alone.
We went to the restaurant and he orders steak and lobster for both of us. He was constantly using profanity while talking. He was angry. He didn't understand what this life is all about
He has done time in prison
He used to be a the most violent man imaginable. He was a 1% in the G. Jokers biker gang. He got out of the gang and trying to do right in life.
We both agreed, 5-10 years ago, there is no way he could be seen talking and eating with me.
How amazing, some of the people I meet. And good Lord, I was hungry and he came along and gave me a meal.
If you hang out in the homeless shelters, it is the women that will yell and cause commotions then the men. I know the reason, but not going to get into it. Saw 2 women with babies. Some how one started yelling at the one about stop showing the baby or something. I guess she was upset feeling the other lady was trying to get attention by showing of the baby. It don't matter what economic level....people will find odd things to argue about.
Walking to the library
I am sick. Tired. Headache. stuffy nose. Walking to the library at dusk. I pass a subsidized housing building. I can see through a window. 2-3 people on couch watching tv. Warm. They knew how to lie applications and get free housing. They know how it is like to be poor. They would never invite someone into their house to warm up.
I cross the street. The shiny cars are everywhere.
I'm tired. I have been randomingly asking people to look at my kickstarter. My website. I tell them I'm homeless.
I"ve emailed at least 100 people.
I"ve walked to St. Joseph Hospital and handed a note to a Doctor with my same last name
I've mailed letters to different organizations.
No emails of reply.
I've seen 40 people view my video of asking for help.
Nothing. No messages. No acknowledgement.
I wonder if I really want to be successful with my website. For I realize, I am now an angry man.
If I am successful, how can you blame me if I don't help the people of the world. Where are they when I"m in my most dire state of mind.
Of course they have been wonderful, beautiful people. I have been kept alive by my sister.
But right now, I just don't know what I would do if I was rich. I have always been a caring person. So , for me, I don't want to forget this moment.
I would always help the people that help and care for the needy. The Catholic Workers of the world.
But the general public, right now there is too much anger.