Sick

I sucks being sick. I watched the DVD Crashed last night. It's not the kind of movie I would be drawn to. But it had good reviews so I gave it a try. There is a part that made me cry so hard. I've never cried so hard in a movie. So I guess there is some good about that movie.

Where is the hair?

Ok, so I shaved to let my son see what shaving is all about. Don't worry, I'm growing it all back. Didn't take many pictures. Really miss my son right now. Sad to leave him. I feel his lonliness also. But I'm also happy to be away from his mother. At least 4 times she really got on my nerves. Like, we too our son to his first soccer game the day after I landed. She got him shin guards. But didn't know to buy him soccer shoes. So, while all the other kids were playing a serious game of soccer in spike shoes....my son is running around the field in shoes that has flashing lights.....lmao. So funny right now, but sitting on the sidelines, I was so mad and embarrassed.

Can't wait to have my Mongol look back. It takes me like a month to grow my Fu Manchu.

Acting as a normal person

Flying to SLC Utah, I booked on Delta and chose my seat online. Much better than the cow herding on Southwest. I saw there may have been 4 Asian people getting on the flight. And what do you know, my seat mate was a Japanese girl who attends UW. So I told her excuse me and took my seat. I was prepared to clamp it down and give her her space. But strangely enough, she started asking me where I'm headed and where I was from. Weird, she was not afraid of my Mongol look.

Well, it turned out to be the most enjoyable ride I've ever had on a plane. We did allot of small talk. We are both Asian so there wasn't any fighting for shoulder room. We both listened to our mp3 players. She was even open to switching mp3 players. I got to see what kind of music she was into. She had a Ipod with very tame music on it. I had a cheap $15 player with all sorts of crazy music on it.
It was very friendly and non of that uncomfortable feeling someone is trying to hit on the other. The age difference I believe did that. All good.
We seperated and wish other a good trip and that was it.

A few things were revealed about her. Her name is Laura. Well taken care of all her life. On the flight, she had a box of thank you cards. She was like writing a dozen thank you cards to family members who gave her birthday gifts. She was on a transfer trip to Santa Barbara.
Where she is headed and where she is from, is of money. Family of loving and caring siblings. Never had much to worry about in life. She is studying to teach mentally challenged kids.

Basically, who I am, my past and my future....this Laura was a complete opposite.

I wonder...if she knew I was homeless.............

Can't count on fellow Taiwanese person. So sad.

This thing has been bothering me so much the last few days! I'm going to finally blog about it.

I found the name of a Taiwanese person. For her sake, I'm not going to reveal who or what she is. I didn't run accross her on the internet. But I did get her email address by typing her name in google. I go interested in her because her profession is a financial manager for people. Perfect! Exactly what I need. And she is Taiwanese. This should work!

At the end of each month, I'm broke. Gas for driving here and there. $200 a month on coffee is taxing. Out of boredome, I donate to casinos. All the eating out is not the most frugal either. They say, money flows a fools open hand like sand. I am a fool.

So, I've emailed her. Asking her I need her do me a favor. But she has to promise me she cannot reveal who I am to anyone in the world! I don't need to be paraded around like a circus attraction. Look! Its a homeless ASian Person! Come see him. ...No thank you. So after a couple emails, she is having a hard time understanding what I want.

All I want is to give her cash once in a while and have her hold onto it for a year. I don't want to know who she is. I don't care what she does with it. I just can't have access to it.
I'm not begging her for money. Or any material thing. In fact, I'm trying to give her Money!

Well, she was so confused why someone wants to just give her cash to hold onto. So finally, out of desperation.....I gave her the link to this blog!.....My precious private blog.

I DON'T NEED THE TAIWANESE COMMUNITY IN SEATTLE READING MY BLOG!

So I sent her the link to this blog and asked her it is really important she does not reveal this to anyone in the world....And guess what happens?????

After I gave her this link...she has not replied. She saw I was a homeless and ran. No reply from her since.

I guess Taiwanese people are not as helpful and kind to the plight of other Taiwanese as I thought.

Here is the kicker!......she is very involved with a Asian non-profit agency. YEA, your involved in a non-profit because you have a heart....MY ASS!!!!!

My FU

I've been growing a Fu Manchu. I'm saving it till I see my son on Thursday. Happy to see my son. Sad to leave him later. Bothered I have to put up with his mother for a few days. He hates his Grandma. His mother is too mentally slow to mentally development him properly. My son has never had a playmate. A friend. I've been nagging and nagging her for 6 years to find him a playmate. Happily to report, his mother has allowed him to have a school friend come over to play once in awhile now.





Anyways. Here is my FU. It allows me to have the Fierce look. When I'm around the homeless people. I give them my "Don't fuck with me" look. And even the mentally unstable ones leave me alone. I guess I must have a Fierce look. I remember the last time I went to DT seattle how there was a drunk man dancing around. A Indian woman commented she is worried he is going to get beat up. She was worried about me. She saw my Fierce Stare. Not to worry, the dancing drunk never came near me.

I'll be cutting off the FU in Utah. I'll let my son watch me shave.

Mother Theresa

I don't know how it happened. But I decided to google quotes by Mother Theresa. I am now a big fan. Oh, wait, I know how it happenend. Out of boredom, I've started to write a film script. I'll never complete it. I probably quit in a few days. Its a bad trait of mine. I tend to start great ideas and then quit. I guess I'm a chronic quitter. A trully bad trait.

I've been thinking about starting the film with a good quote. Like in the movie, Slum Dog Millionaire. And I thought Mother Theresa would be a good candidate.

When there is a quote, sometimes, someone will not respect the author of the quote and not pay much attention to the quote. But everyone loves Mother Theresa. How can you not respect her. Its like trying to find a person who doesn't like bananas.

To give or not to give....is the question

99% of the panhandlers you see, will take that money and go buy drugs. I don't know if that is a shocker to anyone, but you'll have to believe me. I'm a expert on the homeless population. That 99% is a very very accurate assessment.

Even that old old sweet looking 75 year old grandpa you see panhandling? Yup..big drug addict. The old man on Rainier and Dearborn. The one who walks very slowly with a limp. Sweet looking old man. Gives a nice smile and wave. Does not look like a drug addict. Hate to say it people, Saw him go around the corner about a year old buying crack from a car. Don't let looks deceive you.

So, a few years ago, I was very adament about not giving any money to any of he beggers. Cause, I know where the money is going. Drugs. But now, I have a change of heart. I now believe its ok to give a little to them. Why? Aren't you just supporting he drug dealers? Well there is 2 reasons...


1. All charity benefits the giver than the one receiving the gift. For 2 dollars, you can give someone and feel good about yourself for the rest of the week. 2 dollars is not going to solve the panhandlers problems. 1 million dollars given by Bill Gates to some organization is just him trying to look good in life. That money will be swallowed up by administration costs. Don't get me started on the non-profits. I've worked for enough of them. I know the ins and outs. Please don't get me started on this. I can give you so many stories of non-profits are just a business and the desire to help is lost.

2. For the first time last night, I had a few drinks in my Van. I drank a 2cups of Rum mixed with orange juice. I don't drink very often. Maybe it was my empty stomach. I only ate a small cup of chili for dinner. But after the first cup, I was feeling really really buzzed from the alcohol

For 2 hours, Gone were the constant pain of loneliness.
For 2 hours, Gone was the anger of God treating me like Job.
For 2 hours, Gone was the chilly night.
For 2 hours, Life was ok


So, maybe the money you give a panhandler will end it in a rich drug dealers hands. But since you can't solve his addiction or cure his mental disease, give him 2 hours of seperation from the demons of his mind.

More tour of my home

Ok, no need to go into too much detail here. There it is. The mighty throne. Line it with plastic bags and presto! $8 a month for a box of 115 bags. Pretty cheap and very effective.

Damn Digital conversion

Why? Why? do they have to convert to digital signals? I only get 2 channels on my small Casio hand held TV. The screen is only 1 inch! lol. But, OH! how precious those 2 channels and little screen is to me!

Damn you FCC!!!

Don't Say "Homeless" people won't understand

There is no worse label you can put yourself than "Homeless". Immediately, the association of .....Loser, Drug Addict, Mental Problems, Smelly, untrustworthy, Psycho, Criminal...basically..here is something wrong with that person besides "no house to live in"

There is 1.5 person who knows about my blog. She is a ex-coworker. L.-I know you probably reading this right now...lol. Well, she some how stumbled upon my blog. And she can attest, I have none of those qualities above.

So what amazes me is that you can put almost any negative label on a person and it's not worse than "Homeless". If You tell someone you are a drug addict or have a mental problem.....there is a little bit of sympathy. A small amount of understand.

But just using the word. I'm Homeless...instead of sympathy, they feel there is something wrong with you to get yourself in that situation.

3 weeks ago, I went to dinner at Todai in DT Seattle. I had dinner with a woman. She was the one who invited me. We haven't seen each other in 3 years. A person who I thought is like a friend. We used to work together for LIHI. She has been stressed with her daughter and life. At dinner, I revealed to her, I am now living in a Van. I am homeless. We had a good dinner and wonderful conversation. Ever since then, I've tried to call her times. Each time, she did not put up the phone. I emailed her. Her replied in a one liner saying she is just stressed with life.

Ok, I got the message. Friendship over. Never say you are homeless. People won't understand.

no wonder people don't buy American cars

I've been trying to change the water pump in my car. I got all the parts. Its not a hard task. I get the serpentine belt off. Start to take a few bolts off the Waterpump and then I saw something. I stared at it and stared and stared in disbelief. I could not believe my eyes. One of the bolts is behind he wheel of the power steering pump. Un-freaken believeable!. The water pump is behind and under the engine. I have to find a way to lift up the car, and take all kinds of things apart to get to the water pump, just to move it 1 inch so I can have clearance for one little bolt!

Ok, I spent half an hour staring at the situation. There must be something I'm missing. Nope, I dont' see anyway around it. A simple 1 hour fix is going to turn into a major 3 hour mess!

Now, I understand what the design engineers were thinking....Well, people just normally take it into our service department. And there its a easier fix cause they can lift the car way up in the air.

But they don't realize, the average poor joe, who has to fix their own cars, are going to laugh at this supidity and next time not buy a Buick again.

No wonder when I took it to a shop last Saturday, the man quoted me $400. I couldn't understand why so much. The water pump I bought brand new at Schucks only costs $35 dollars. $350 in labor charges? I'll do it myself.

For a 1 inch clearance, I have to take almost the whole engine apart! WOW.

no work today..fun on tman show

Business has been very slow for resteraunts. When I walked into work today, the boss told me to take a day off. Is a common thing for us drivers. Once or twice a week, someone will be told to take a day off.

So I went to Safeway and got on the Stickam. Stickam is a webcam community. And the local radio show Tman Show on Kube 93 airs in the morning in Stickam. 6 listeners can be posted on video while the show is being aired. I was chosen as one of those 6 listeners. Finally, for the first time, I was able to use the webcam on my laptop.

I was really fun being on webcam. I've never been on a webcam before. I never knew how clear the webcams can be.

I guess it was enjoyable because I got to do something different in my life for once.

Forcing to day off from work sucks but I really enjoyed it. I'm sure there will be more days I'm forced to take a day off in the future. Currently, I'm averaging around 34 hours a week now.

Why are Senior Asians so pushy?

For some reason, Asian senior citizens tend to lose their politeness as they get older. I understand, we are to be respectful and be patiend with. And I am. In both these incidents.

I'm getting food at the buffet at Ranch 99. I'm paying for my food. The senior Asian lady behind me is basically pushing my shoulder so she can pay. Lady, I can't go faster. I have to wait for my food to be bagged and for my change. Trying to nudge me is not going to help.

I never looked at her, from the corner of my eye I can see she is old. I gave her my old people respect.


Next, I went to the customer service counter to buy a pack of cigarrettes. I put my food on the counter and waited for the clerk to finish talking to another clerk. A old gentle come up next to me. He puts his dollar on the counter and moves up next to me. When the clerk is free, he shoves his dollar in front of me and takes a paper.

I gave him my old people respect


A few days ago, still at Ranch 99, there is around 4 people waiting for bakeries. You know how it is with Asians when it comes to making lines.....who knows where it starts. So I really really wanted a butter bum. So I waited and waited making to sure to note who was there before me. Everytime the clerk was finished with a customer, she would ask "Who is next?" And I would not say anything, to let the ones there before me get their order.

After 10 minutes, I knew I was next. The clerk asks "Who is next?" And a freaken senior Asian woman cuts in front of me and starts ordering. Ok, that really bothered me. But I have to give her the old people respect. But in my head I had a plan. The next time the clerk asks "Who is next?" and if someone jumps in front of me, I'm going to let them order.

And then I'm going to yell "AM I JUST STANDING HERE FOR NOTHING? THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE CUTS IN FRONT OF ME, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A FUCKEN PROBLEM!"

And those that know me, know I'm not kidding. One of my bad traits, I'm not afraid to make a scene.

Its like those many incidents where cars down wait for me to cross the road in chinatown. I"ll purposely stop in the middle of the sidewalk and dare them to run me over as I stare at them. they are stuck in he middl of the street holding up 4 directions. A few times they wait for me to move. A few time they drive around me.

Why are senior Asian so pushy?

People don't really care

One of the crazy beliefs I have......People really don't care about others unless its their job or they feel people are judging them at that moment.

Take in point what just happened at Safeway.......

Its a little breezy for Seattle weather today. A cart blows out the cart bay in the parking lot. It is very close to the entrance of the store. It rolls back in stops in the middle of the parking lot. Literally right smack in the middle where car drive up down.

I'm on the cellphone talking to Schucks about a water pump. (water pump on my car is leaking. My car is my home) The cart is only like 15 feet from the front of the store. My immediate reaction is to go and move it out of the way.....but I stopped myself and decided to watch and see what would happen.

Yup, just like I guessed...People walked in and out of the store and didn't do anything about the cart. A man even walks 2 feet from the cart, gets in is car, backs out and had to go out of his way to drive around it.

Another man, walks straight for the cart, surely he's the guy..he even has a name tag from some store on....but nope! he walks right by it also.

Cars drive by to avoid it, One car just didn't even bother to go down that aisle.

Finally a bagger came and got it.


If its not your job or no one is judging you, you don't really care.